Culture dictates that we should focus on self-promotion. Apparently anything that is bad for or displeasing to the self should be avoided. I don’t adhere to such beliefs. In the realm of forgiveness, this mentality is self-destructive. A grudge is meant to be expressed and released. The act of release frees you.
When you’re stuck in the midst of pain and grief, you feel like your redemption from your Shawshank will never be achieved. I can’t forgive others on the turn of a dime. I just pick up my rock hammer and chip away at my stone heart. The days, months, or years it takes to break each stone makes me stronger. The process is tedious and draining, but I still benefit from it. The rubble is left behind, but the destructive mass cannot threaten to flatten me.